First and foremost, star fam, I’d like to say FUCK RACISM! I want to share more about my background and why self-love is so important to me. I didn’t build PSL off of some love and light fumes; quite the opposite. A few years back, I felt dead inside. I knew multiple things were wrong. At the time, I couldn’t recognize them all at once. I eventually realized that my attitude towards life was garbage, and I wanted to change that because deep down, I am a joyful soul. I then recognized that I needed confidence if I wanted to overhaul my life. Because my confidence was stuck in the shitter.

Unfortunately, throughout my life, I’ve had many hurtful things said to me, some to my face and a lot behind my back. I don’t know the specifics of the things said behind my back, and I could give two fucks. I feel I’ve heard it all at this point, so insult away. Yet, like Kamala, I will state, “Say it to my face.”

Whatever isn’t spoken to my face, oh well. I have a purpose-driven life, and I don’t necessarily care what terrible things people think about me this week. At this point, it’s old news. It’s none of my business anyway.

I’ve also heard a lot of trash life advice that never sat well with me. I knew things were way off. I knew I had to come in, figure things out, and clean house for my soul. 

I say all of that now. Yet, in the past, the problem was that I let other people’s words have power over me. A lifetime of hearing statements that almost kill the fire inside can do a number on you. I don’t remember the exact day, but I remember coming to the point where I realized that nothing anyone has ever said or will ever say matters. I don’t mean this in a mean-spirited way. I greatly care about other people’s visions, voices, and contributions. I’m referring to the genuine hate or weird and off-putting energy I’ve received. 

“Brown piece of shit.”

-not worth saying their name, but I will never forget it (this was said to me in Elementary School)

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL !!! I don’t remember why he got mad at me and said that. I probably was zoning out and accidentally bumped into him. Lol. I didn’t even know what he meant when he said that. I was really confused. I forgot about it and didn’t realize what he even meant until years later. When it hit me, certain things made sense in an awful way.

I felt so other. I felt weird. I felt so different. I felt less than. I felt completely and utterly dismissed solely based on my differences.

The fact that he said that to me when I was a young child makes me want to throw up in my mouth because it means he heard it from somewhere else; I’m going to assume one or both of his parents. I grew up in a small, primarily white, lower-middle-class suburb. I am Native American (Guarani), Sicilian, and Spanish/Portuguese. My brown skin absolutely stood out in a predominately white community where racism for sure came out to play. YAY! Ummm. . . AS FUCKEN IF !!!!!!

Throw me a fricken bone…

I was yelled at one day by an irate customer, mad because I told him I couldn’t speak Spanish. Why is it so offensive to not know Spanish? I will never understand that. I took Spanish classes in high school. I know some. My accent is crap because I have a very English, NY accent. I did not grow up in a Spanish-speaking environment. I’d like to learn more, but I am currently learning Italian. I bring this up because he yelled, 

“Shame on your parents for not teaching you Spanish!” – super annoying and super rude stranger 

I say,

“SHAME ON ANY PARENTS WHO TEACH AND PASS ON RACISM!” 

I worked at a credit union for a few years in my hometown. I had to help the mother of the kid who called me a brown piece of shit (how creative, by the way, lol). Every time I helped her, I was polite. I didn’t want to be. But I’ve never been a fan of taking my hurt out on others. I’ve always prided myself on providing good customer service. I also don’t know if she’s racist. Maybe it was a racist dad. I don’t know. I just know helping her brought up that memory to me repeatedly. How lovely! 

“Stupid Indian.” – another name not forgotten

I heard that through the grapevine of an old boyfriend from high school. He hung out with his friend, my name was brought up, and then came the stupid Indian comment.

I’M NOT INDIAN. I AM NATIVE AMERICAN! 

I AM FAR FROM STUPID! 

These two comments are two that stick out. I wish I could say that’s it. I wish I could say there aren’t any more really hurtful comments, the kind that make you feel like you’re lower on the totem pole of humanity.

FUCK THAT! FUCK RACISM! I am not below or above anyone, and I never fucken will be! FUCK RACISM foreal. The wounds those comments and others have left on my spirit is GROSS. I’ve spent years trying to shake them off, look at my skin with love, and feel pride in who I am.

Who I am is powerful, beautiful, and deeply connected to everything. 

My skin is beautiful. 

I love how I can say that now and really mean it. It’s one of the best things that’s happened to me lately. 

I am brown; I have been a piece of shit at times, I’ll admit. But I don’t think anyone ever deserves to be on the receiving end of racism!

FUCK RACISM!

Adoption, RACISM, Dismissal, Bullying, Harassment, Stress, Sexism, Misunderstood, Heartbreak, Betrayal, Substance Abuse, broken red flag detector, horrific boundaries aka pretty much none, no backbone, terrible self-esteem, depression, anxiety, burnout, perfectionism, people pleasing, fawning, self-hate, self-loathing, suicidal thoughts, pessimism, chronic pain, brain fog, cultural disconnect, constantly underestimated, RAGE.
 
The above issues fueled and inspired my latest poem, My Rage, https://planetselflove.com/my-rage/. As you can see, I’ve dealt with quite the cocktail of motivating forces. Did I mention, FUCK RACISM?

Now, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: I get through all this with self-love.

However, I also put in a lot of work to achieve that self-love. It is continuous, life-changing work. Please believe me when I say that,

⭐️ SELF-LOVE IS WORTH EVERY SECOND YOU GIVE TO IT.⭐️

Self-love has saved me in a way nothing else ever could. That’s why PSL is my baby, my passion planet with so much purpose. Because if I can help as many people as possible to get through all that trash I listed and some more fun specifics of one’s own, that means everything to me. 

BECAUSE NO ONE DESERVES TO SUFFER! WE ALL DESERVE ACCEPTANCE, HAPPINESS, SUPPORT, MOTIVATION, EDUCATION, FRESH WATER, HEALTHY FOOD, MENTAL HEALTHCARE, SHELTER & UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!! THERE’S ENOUGH ABUNDANCE FOR EVERYONE! 🌎🍃

Even if the help is as simple as the fact of knowing you’re not alone out there in your struggles.

🫂

And also, you never have to be a victim of said struggles!

▫️SIMPLY REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM.▫️

One of my most treasured mentors once said,

✨I’M NOT A VICTIM, I’M A VICTOR.✨

I really took her words to heart, and I’m genuinely grateful for that. 🙏🏽

Luckily, mental health is at the forefront of attention these days. I am so thankful for that and happy to be a part of it! Without our mental health, every other area of our life will suffer. We need healthy minds that can, in turn, support healthy bodies and foster open hearts.

Every part of us is connected. You can’t neglect your mind and only tend to your body, and vice versa with any variation, including the heart.

✨ IT’S ALL CONNECTED. ✨

✨WE ARE ALL CONNECTED.✨

Therapy is always an option if you choose, particularly with a trauma-informed therapist. If therapy lets you down, try to find some alternative therapists on social media who started their own therapy channels. Some of them are truly phenomenal and have helped me so much when I didn’t want a one-on-one in-person therapist. Unfortunately, you can’t get specific, but I’ve found a few that discuss issues that can be common and fleshed out on a broader scale.

💕Sending you all SO MUCH LOVE!💕

It can be an absolutely exhausting shit show to exist as a human in a world that’s polluted with so much unnecessary evil and injustice, especially when some of that is directed toward ourselves.

WHERE ARE THE WARRIORS!?
IT’S OUR TIME TO RISE. ⚔️🌇🦁

Also, FUCK RACISM ! I will continue to fight against racism, sexism, and all the other isms in any & all ways that I can. Those isms are absolute horseshit. We are all the same yet wonderfully unique, much like all the different plants in the rainforest. Not a single soul on this green planet deserves hatred for WHO THEY ARE.

I don’t live in that town any longer, yet I will always have love for it. Despite all the cruelness I endured in that little town, I enjoyed the beach, the time spent with loved ones, my solitude, and the quietness.

I currently live in a diverse town. I am one of many brown people, no longer one of a handful. It’s close to where I grew up. My neighbors are all different ethnicities. I see their differences, which brings a massive smile to my soul.