If you’ve ever seen the movie The King & I, the phrase “getting to know you,” reminds me of the heartwarming scene where a schoolteacher sings this phrase to her young students. If you have particularly good taste in music, it may also remind you of a groove ridden Maxwell song, “Get To Know Ya,” which may be one of the smoothest things to ever grace your ear.

How well do you know yourself? When’s the last time you checked in with the person you should know best?

A key component of self-love is getting to know you.

Make sure you feel comfortable hanging out with yourself. Have you ever dated yourself? For instance, have you taken yourself out to eat? Have you spent a day at the beach solo? Have you ever spoiled yourself on a random weekend?

You have to feel comfortable being alone and hanging out with yourself. You have to master the security in accepting that being alone doesn’t have to translate to loneliness. It can lead to finding what makes you come alive.

What makes you come alive?

Shouldn’t one of the goals of living a happy life be to feel energized with things that light up your soul? If you’re not exactly sure what makes you come alive, it’s never too late to explore. Don’t tell yourself that you’re too this or too that.

Start hanging out with yourself and doing whatever you want! What’s your favorite color? What type of food do you have yet to try? Get used to hanging out with that brilliant person that looks back at you in the mirror every day! 

How about your desires? What are the qualities you want in your ideal friend or partner? Which kind of neighborhood is right for you? Get in touch with what you truly want.

Figuring these questions out may be challenging due to various options. You can try out those different options to see what it is you want in regards to certain things.

A key component of self-love is getting to know you

Don’t think that any decision is permanent. If you feel like a relationship is no longer serving you, or you’re unhappy at work, you have the power to change. You do, however,  need to figure out what you ultimately want. It may take you days or even a lifetime. That’s okay. Don’t look at life as a race, but rather as a journey. Life will smile back at you if you give it a chance to!

Check-in with your feelings.

How do you feel? Do you honor your feelings? Do you express them when needed? How about writing them down if it makes you feel better? Perhaps you vent them out to a trusted source? Whatever you do, don’t ignore them. Accepting both good and bad feelings will bring you a sense of peace and power. Acknowledge the good and the bad.

You’re not a monster for being negative or trudging through the swamps of depression (unless you look up to the Swamp Thing, in that case, do you!) The goal is to make yourself aware of your feelings and to accept them. Don’t hide from them because that won’t make them go away. Hiding from your feelings tends to make them stronger. It’s okay to feel. You’re a human being with complex emotions and life experiences.

Get to know your feelings because they are every bit an essential part of you as knowing your favorite color. You may need to cry. Go ball your eyes out. If you’re angry and frustrated, try to release it in a healthy way like going ham on an unfortunate boxing bag at the gym.

Accept your feelings, release them, and let it go. Your feelings are temporary. They come and go like storms. You’ll feel better eventually. I promise.

If you want to love yourself, make sure you get to know the powerful spirit who looks back at you in the mirror each morning.