The other day I experienced “a bad body day.” I recently lost weight and am harboring feelings of paranoia regarding weight gain. As if my world will end if I gain it back. But for fcks sake, do I have to gain it back? Because I really don’t want to. But part of my issue with this “bad body day” comes hand in hand with so many good food days. Ahhhhhh. *huge sigh* (Now the truth comes out.)

 I eat because I’m unhappy, and I’m unhappy because I eat. It’s a vicious cycle.

Fat Bastard 

 I only eat sometimes when I’m unhappy, but that quote always cracks me up in addition to resonating way too much with my spirit. Also, being an emotionally charged woman eating ice cream feels damn good. It’s even better if your hair is a greasy mess and you have zero fcks about how you may or may not look in the moment. It’s a liberating way to practice presence, and every woman worldwide should have this right! 

 My bad body day started because of dun dun dun…THE SCALE. My first thought was, “there’s no way I gained that all back.” LOL, but what if you did?! Of course, I was immediately upset that I stepped on the scale because I did get a slight feeling not to, but curiosity killed this fat cat’s mood. 

 Omg, did she just call herself “FAT?” *trigger warning* 

 Yes, why yes, I did. But I’m partly joking. 

So this lovely little story started the beginning of my bad body day. Never mind that I recently went to the gastroenterologist, and he confirmed that everything is okay. Or maybe even the fact that I fought off a potentially deadly virus and have escaped a host of other near-death times.

No, I guess none of that matters because of a dumb scale. 

 WTF kind of horse shit is that!? 

 I’m not sure. I just know it’s something that I’d really like to stop. 

 Two factors snapped me out of this gross mindset. Which, trust me, I’m well aware it’s GROSS. Although my self-love is the absolute best it’s EVER been, I’ll never claim to be perfect (like I tried so hard to in the past). I’m not immune to days where my self-love lingers in the shitter for a little too long. I guess I haven’t unlocked self-love, 2.0.

 The first factor was a post that one of my best friends tagged me in; it stated

No matter your shape or size, your body deserves unconditional love. 

Dr. Sylvi Martin 

 It was almost as if my supportive girl read my mind. I was so happy that she tagged me in that. I shed a tear. I felt like I was getting slapped back into the reality that I needed to rather than nightmarish scale land. 

 *omg, I’m having flashbacks of Ben Stiller’s character from Dodgeball* 

The second factor was writing in my gratitude journal. To any beautiful Milky Wayan reading this, I promise you that gratitude will significantly shift your mindset! It feels impossible to stay mad, sad, or any other garbage emotion when staring at all these beautiful blessings surrounding you. Or you can ignore the blessings and complain all day about the crap! Totally YOUR call.

 One of these beautiful blessings is, without a doubt, our body. Yet, many of us give ourselves so much hell about our bodies.

 But damn, am I grateful I can see. All the wondrous things my eyes have seen so far bring me to the most fantastical places. 

 I’m also grateful as hell I have use of my legs. They carry me throughout my days and enable me to engage in things I love like dancing, yoga, etc.

 I’m grateful for the stomach that I’ve hated on so much. Yet I’ve put it through hell and back, and it’s still working for me.

 I’m grateful for my hips. They most certainly don’t lie, and even though they get sore sometimes, those are some tough broads. 

 I’m grateful for my hands enabling me to bring PSL to life. 

 I’m grateful for feet.

I’m grateful for my back.

 I’m grateful for my whole body simply because it’s magic. 

PSL 

SAY IT WITH ME, EXCLAIM this loud and proud to the universe, “I’M GRATEFUL FOR MY WHOLE BODY SIMPLY BECAUSE IT’S MAGIC.”

How my body looks has nothing to do with my times on the dance floor, walking through the city, going on hikes, or killing it at the gym, just to name a few things my bod and I have thoroughly enjoyed. 

 So, if you’re having a bad body day, may I ask, what are you grateful for? 

 If the gratitude talk puts you off, I get it, but I’m begging you to give it a try! Maybe it will force you to remember all the good surrounding you rather than be bent out of shape because your body doesn’t “feel perfect.” 

 FUCK PERFECT. 

 I’m so done with that, yet remnants of that mindset clearly still come back to torture me, kinda like Casper, but not as cute or friendly and way more annoying. 

 Ohhh, what’s that? I hear ice cream from my freezer calling.

 I’m so grateful I can hear!

If you’d like some universal encouragement to love that beautiful body of yours, I invite you to read Love Your Body Now.